When to Remove Your Wedding Band After Divorce

Removing your wedding band after divorce (or separation) is an important step. The wedding band represents your love, your life together. As your officiant may have said when you married, the circle shape is a symbol of infinity, with no beginning and no end.

Yet an end is here — far sooner than you expected the day you put on that ring. So when do you remove it?

There is no “right” time to remove the wedding band after divorce. What feels right to you is going to be different for someone else. Some people remove their wedding ring the moment the other spouse moves out. Some remove it after the divorce is final. You might choose somewhere in between, but it’s also not uncommon for people to leave them on after divorce for a period of time.

Of course, people have been known to hurl rings at each other in public or toss them into the water. (We get to see this play out among celebrities, because they tend to have public breakups.)

Deciding When to Remove the Ring

If you still have yours and aren’t sure what to do, here are some thoughts to consider:

• Even after divorce, you may not “feel” divorced just yet. Take it off when you feel ready.
• Removing the ring may feel like regaining control over yourself or your feelings. Or removing your ex’s control over you. Psychologically, it may help you to heal to remove it.
• In amicable divorces, ex spouses sometimes leave the ring on longer or pull it out to wear in front of their ex, as a sign of respect for what they once shared.
• Don’t be surprised if you feel conflicted about whether to remove it. You might feel like wearing it is a lie to others, to yourself. After all, what the ring represents is no longer true. But then removing it may feel like you’re declaring yourself ready to date others, which may not be true.
• But removing it doesn’t mean you are ready to date. It may simply mean you’ve reached another stage in the healing process and may be ready to refocus your energy.
• Removing it is a sign to others that you are single and may be the signal that you are ready to be asked about it. That’s why some, who don’t want to discuss their divorce, leave theirs on a bit longer.
• It might seen as a reflection of whether you wanted the marriage to continue or not.
• For some, knowing the ex has removed his/her ring makes them feel they must remove theirs. Try to think about your preference before you see your ex out and about or in court. How will you react if she/he is still wearing it?

If you’re going through divorce, are you still wearing your ring? When did you remove the wedding band after divorce?