Therapists Share: Why the Partner Asking for Divorce Might Seek Counseling
People often understand that your partner asking for divorce might be a surprise, a bomb dropped on you that requires some counseling as you figure out how to cope. But some may not consider the person asking for a divorce. He or she may also want to talk to a counselor. Our therapists share why this is often the case.
Celeste L. Simmons, Ph.D.
It can be just as difficult to ask for the divorce as it is to hear it being asked. Either way, both parties will undergo life changes that will be difficult.
Sharon Sheppard, LMFTA
Divorce–the ending of a marriage, is wrought with emotions ranging from fear, to anger, sometimes relief, and everything in between; sorting through the feelings, for both partners, may require help from a professional. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental environment in which individuals can process and work through the pain associated with divorce.
Steve Cline, MA, LMFT
Divorce is the death of a relationship, shattered hopes and dreams. No one is spared from feelings associated with divorce to include the initiator. The person who initiated the divorce has experienced pain as well and might need therapy more than the partner to help process that pain/trauma and help them cope with the fallout of life as a divorced person.
Dr. Tina Lepage
Difficult feelings. The person who initiated the divorce might struggle with guilt, anger sadness, or shame. Very often they feel ambivalent, which means having opposing feelings or thoughts at the same time, for example: feeling angry and loving towards someone, desperate to leave them and wishing they could stay with them, etc. For many people, the decision to divorce is not easy or clear-cut, and therapy can be helpful in making sense of these feelings and keeping perspective. In addition, working toward difficult feelings toward your ex can help prepare you to be a better co-parent if you have children.
If you have questions about divorce, visit our next monthly workshop so you can get all your questions answered by a therapist, a lawyer, and a financial adviser.
